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"dude, have you ever looked at an old lady and thought damn she's hot??" wow brian's a creeeeeeeeeee   
01:45pm 16/03/2004
mood: content
haven't written in a couple of days... nothing extraordinary to report. lately i've just been a tanning/trip whore and everytime somebody runs an errand i feel that i NEED to go. haha its cool i like cars. i'm having sex with fiddy's car when he gets the body kit put on it in 2 years except when he doesn't know is i can't wait that long so yeah one day when he walks in the parking lot, he'll just see me attacking his car with the sweeeeeeeeet lovin. classic. brian ate a stale donut last night and then proceeded to talk about how he saw a hot grandma at the mall and then he was like "yeah i should wear a sign that says i'll do anything from 16 to 61" wow he's grossssssssssss. i'm glad we're friends though because he's so funny. did i mention how pretty he is? well he's sooooo pretty. fiddy's pretty too i decided i can only be friends with pretty boys so i guess i have to let phil down gently.... WAIT! WE HATE EACH OTHER! GREAT... THE WORLD MAKES SENSE AGAIN. anywho... i really don't want to go on break for summer because ill miss everybody soooooo much! boooooooooooooooooooooooooo. ok well it's almost time for lunch and that means i have a smiley face on. fooooooooooood?!
<3 hilarie.
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over the edge.   
09:56am 16/02/2004
mood: cranky
i studied for my psch test in my room for a day and a half. i woke up at 6:30 today and why do i still feel like i know nothing? i think i'm going insane. i need some friends and a good beer. please make a little girl's dreams come true!

<3 hilarie.
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something vague.   
01:27pm 03/02/2004
mood: relieved
so last night was strange. all i can say is i'm so fucking lucky i have such excellent friends. rochelle, katie, stacey, scotty, and alex saved my life last night. i was sad about paul not talking to me so in retaliation i decided i would go and get high with steve, nate, rochelle, and rob which was a mistake because i just got paranoid and thought about everything really hard and that got me really depressed. i was just really upset that paul went out of his way to ignore me in class and i guess i never thought about how he feels like maybe he's as nervous as i am and if i don't know how to act around him then i guess it's wrong to expect him to be normal around me. i just don't want him to regret it because that would hurt me so much. but all my friends comforted me like the good friends they are but i know they know things about paul that i don't and they wouldn't lie to me just to make me feel better so that makes me feel good. i feel so bad that i was out of control last night and all i could do was cry because i was so frustrated with everything and i just wanted answers. i vented about how i think i'm not good enough for paul because i'm not perfect and i don't think i'm pretty enough blah blah blah and i hate when i do that. i took everything too seriously and that got me even more upset. all i know is i love my friends more than anything in the world and if they weren't here i think i wouldn't have lasted this long here.

<3 hilarie.

ps- sorry again guys. i fucking love you all more than anything in the world.
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the glory of ochs... and round the chorus we will sing   
05:05pm 12/01/2004
  if my day were any more excellent i think i would explode from my pure happiness. *kablam!* i went back to high school today to collect scholarship money from my guidance counselor who i hated and she was unexpectedly pleasant which was nice. at first i was not allowed to go visit friends/teachers because of an unexplained incident that happened with a group of people who graduated last year and drawing penises on walls and overall causing a commotion (i will ask people about this). however, being the cool person i am, i pulled a spy mission and walked despondantly back outside while mrs. lipke watched me and then pulled a "italian job" moment and ran back into school while the little guard lady was intently reading a book. i then managed to sneak past the principal and the whole security squad without my infamous "I. D.". i saw mrs. prady my FAVORITE teacher ever and we had a heart to heart about college and how excellent ap english was last year and how she misses us all and we need to have a reunion at dave hoke's house as soon as possible andi even told her how i had a crush on dave for 3 days. and i saw mr. mclachlan my mentor whom i love and miss very much. i even saw RACHAEL WEEKS my looooove!!!!!!! i miss her so much and we hung out for a little bit and it was excellent. i hope i hang out with her more before i leave. ochs rocks my world and so do all my friends from home. i love you all and miss you like WOOOOOAAAH. you guys are some of the sweetest, funniest, and CRAZY people i know and i love you love you love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 hilarie.